Update: I was going to flesh out my notes, then I read last year’s notes. How sad.


State of the Union-

Poor Robert Rubin. Can you imagine how bad he wants to get out of

How can the Republicans not clap at the “State of our Union is
strong”? That’s a Democratic issue or something?

Aging of America . . .hey, I’m all for octagenarian euthanasia-
oldest first- make way for Strom, ‘kay?

Social Security. Yawn. What?! Remove earning limits on SS

Guaranteeing the soundness of Medicare? Lord, y’all are so screwed if
even just those eligible right now take advantage of it.

Affordable prescription drugs? Do you have any idea how many of these
folks retire from Congress to pimp for pharmaceutical companies? Where would
they find the money to provide retirement paths if this happened?

Universal Savings Accounts? I’ll keep it under my mattress, thank

Tax credit of a thousand to deal with aging? How nice, that’ll pay
for a 1/2 a month of care.

(Baby boomers- if these folks try to claim the same amounts of
benefits seniors do now . . .)

I’ll have to give credit on the HOPE Tax credit (which still ain’t a
GA Hope Scholarship, but . . . )

Oh, who cares about being connected to the internet when the teacher
can’t spell, herself?

Ending social promotion. Umm, there’s no explicit policy in place .
. . whaddya gonna do?

(Triples funding for summer school and after school . . . very good

(Year round schools would be a better step . . .)

(Umm, how much of this gonna happen? I mean, for all the local
hollerin’ bout it, the federal government doesn’t have much pull . . .)

Issuing report cards on every school . . .umm, I hear a commission
opening. Quick, someone order the cherry desks. (Where are the local

Raise the minimum wage . . shouldn’t that just be a recording by
this point?

Equal pay for equal work? What an impossible albatross . . .

Protecting the privacy of medical records. I like the idea, but why
does that make me nervous?

The Justice Department is gonna take the tobacco companies to court
. . . hee hee ha ha hoo hoo . .

Income gap= skills gap. No shit. But that you for pointing that out.
In fact, forget college financial aid- open up some real trade schools. Who
the needs English Lit when you’re still working slinging boxes at a

Cutting the welfare rolls nearly in half. Traitorous bastard. Wait
for this rubberband to snap.

Dick Armey. Please add him (again) to the list of people I’d love to

“Bring it back to the farm . . . crop insurance and income
assistance” . . . oh my ()*@#@ god . . if I was ever for just leaving it to
the free market . . .

Y2K. Solving the Y2K problem? Social security checks on time . . .
(Work with us . . . so, we’re gonna pass a bill banning the advancement of
time . . . )

The rest of the world is in recession . . .um, yeah. This is a
really really weird thing. While the rest of the world is going to hell in a
handbasket, we’re paying 200 for shares of Yahoo.

Trade has divided Americans for too long? Lord, thank you. Will you
please help explain this issue? I mean, let the shit jobs get exported . .
.if we can provide bridging trading . . . no one is this country should have
to be fighting to protect the right to shovel pig shit. Ugly, but
important, argument.

(Janet Reno and her one blue dress)

(Oooh, Japan bashing may be back in style . . )

Ahhh . . . banning child labor … how . .. brave!

(Hey, nearly an hour in before the first drink . . )

Did he say lasting peace in the middle east? Was that a straight

Nuclear treaties . . hmm, sounds faintly familiar . . . .

Iraq. Get over it.

(Oh my god who picked Capt. Taliferro for the family gallery?)

Time to reverse the decline in Defense Spending in 1985? 85!!?? (you
sorry hypocritical bastard)

Pay our Dues to the UN (you keep teasin’ me, baby . . .)

“Stability can’t be bought at the expense of liberty”? Oh lord, if
we could apply that here . . .

100K more community police officers? Did you increase the internal
affairs budget, too?

Brady Bill has stopped 250K felons from buying guns? What bullshit .
. .

50K more police . . . can we make sure they aren’t all

Digital mugshots. Ooh, how technically advanced.

If you stay on drugs, you stay behind bars. Wow, more bravery.

Extend ban on gun purchases to minors. Umm, so I beat the hell out
of someone when I was 13, and I lose a Constitutional right as an adult?

Leaving this land an even better land for our descendants than it was
for us . . (what I’d love to hear next is “so I’m outlawing suburbia”)

A one billion dollar livability agenda? Okaaayyyy

(Umm, did I tell y’all about TEA-21? Transportation Equity Act for
the 21st Century . . good stuff)

AmeriCorps!!!!! Warms my black little heart.

Rosa Parks. Excuse me while I get goosebumps of pride.

And Barney Frank, as much as a wacko as he is, is the man.

Immigration. Lord, I really wish this would be national issue, and
not just one left to the border states. Either shut the doors and focus on
urselves or stop setting up recent immigrants for failure.

Honoring Hillary. Whatever you think about them, that’s a hell of a
story if ever there was one . . .

Nationally recognized millennium community- preserve part of the
past- embalm Strom now!

A more perfect union. I really wonder . . .

He . . or She . . (I’m thinking Hillary . . )


Republican Response . . .

Proposing a 10% cut in taxes. Yawn.

Spending the surplus for social security doesn’t work? How in the
fuck is that spending?

“I’m a single mom.” I’ll vote for a Republican when they sit someone
up there who says “I’m a single transvestite (preop) father”.

Give working Americans a choice to invest funds in private accounts
. . . umm, yeah. Didn’t I just hear that?

I married my high school sweetheart, a cheerleader, . . I was a
football player . . (I’m choking on laughter)

“I had to ask someone what GOP stood for after I was elected”. (I’d
like a grand jury please . . .)

“Preserve the notion that true liberty and freedom come from God,
and that the way we act toward God depends on that . . ” (Happy Ramadan).

Oh my god, we’re calling for Star Wars all over again.

Partial Birth Abortion . . what, no graphics?

“At the heart of free enterprise, is an education” . . .(well, that
explains why we didn’t clap at any of the propose education initiatives,

Oh, sure, lets scrap the IRS code. Of course, you know that all of
the code is that complicated to provide easy ways out for all poor people
and their accountants to get out of, right?

Invoking Dr. King. That takes balls on his part . . . uh huh.

“The word congress, is made of two latin words, which mean . .
.”(Did Farrakhan write this?)

The body is strong . . . the heart needs attention . .

Invoking Vince Gill for national guidance.

BLACKS AND WHITES? (let’s not get started)


“It was a boffo performance . . .” (Bill Kristol)